In the time since I last updated this website, the world has fallen deep into a cycle of global pandemic and economic self-destruction. When I expressed interest in rekindling some 1920s aesthetic, I didn’t expect it to be self-quarantine and plonking away at a typewriter to distract from the dangers of venturing out in the world.

The economic collapse was also unwelcome but I’ve not known a period of true prosperity in my lifetime. This may be why in this uncertain time I’ve taken to gardening and accumulating an unending supply of spicy ramen….

Samyang Buldak noodles attained Internet infamy as countless YouTube personalities dared one another to eat a bite of the supposedly nuclearly hot dish, with each participant more forgettable than the last beyond their exaggerated screaming. This trend peaked in 2017 when in most of the United States only a handful of the more mild Buldak options made their way to shelves. Buldak means “fire chicken” in Korean and the ramen draws inspiration from a punishingly spicy stewed chicken and rice cake dish commonly smothered in cheese.

Cut to 2020, both the dish and Samyang’s iteration of buldak ramen are everywhere, including the more extreme and unusual flavors in the line. I’ve made a casual practice of acquiring each flavor as it launches in my area, including the lesser-known tteokboki (rice cake) versions of the dish sold in microwavable packs. I’ve even found 2X spicy buldak gyoza at one point which I don’t recommend on their own as they were pushing the extent to which Samyang’s sauce remains palatable.

For this list I’ve decided to go with just the ramen flavors, with one notable exception for the carbo flavor which you’ll see later on. I’ve also not included other brands of hot chicken ramen as I think they’re not as potent at Samyang’s. To date, you can also buy Samyang’s original sauce in bottle form which makes it easier to attempt traditional buldak at home.

So, let’s start with the worst and sample….

Buldak Corn

It’s no secret in the instant ramen world that internationally, ramen is consumed by a diverse group of people, not just in Asian communities. Yet in the 20 years since I first spotted more “Hispanic” targeted flavors, the packaging has only grown more questionable. And this latest dry ramen monstrosity is questionable on several levels.

Heat-wise, these noodles are somewhat less spicy than the original Buldak flavor which is probably wise as the additional “corn” powder is so overwhelming you don’t want any impediment to wolfing down this $6 culinary disaster. The potency of nacho cheese Doritos permeates this dish with utter disregard for the core spicy chicken flavor. What you’re left with is a mealy, overly processed mash of vaguely cheesy, exceedingly corn-scented gunk. Nothing I’ve done to these noodles has taken the edge off the corn powder’s power.

Despite the packaging, I had a vague hope these would be more akin to another Korean corn concoction called corn cheese typically made with corn, mozzarella, and bell peppers (sometimes spam and additional mayonnaise). Sadly, the fixation on making this. taste more “authentically” Mexican kills the flavor.

Buldak Curry

Curry powder is the greatest affront to Indian cuisine. Because white invaders often fast track the process of “understanding” and commodifying the culture of the people they’ve conquered, the British rule of India brought the concept of curry powder to the fore, thus reducing an ancient and beautiful cuisine to a rough amalgamation of its most pungent spices. Other cultures have curries but we can lay the confusion and over-simplification of what a curry is entirely at the feet of colonialism.

I bring this up because these noodles taste like curry powder and a particularly garish one at that. Initially I’d hoped these would taste more like Japanese curry, which is itself based on imperial interpretations of Indian cuisine then filtered through Chinese and Japanese palates. Japanese curry is frequently blended with pear or apple to make a sweeter, more full-bodied flavor as opposed to the sharpness of some generic “curry” preparations.

These kind of taste like that? But they also don’t. Again the spice level is quite low and less than the standard buldak flavor but certainly delivers a punch. The worst astringent flavors of the curry powder linger on the palate for hours after you’ve eaten, something I’m fighting as I write this. I had a pack left and in my quarantine haze decided to eat them. I…shouldn’t have.

I should point out that the majority of buldak noddles are prepared “dry” meaning they don’t have a lot of sauce. Frequently the noodles are boiled then returned to the pan to stirfry for a bit in the sauce. You can certainly attempt that with this and many of the other flavors but it won’t bring life to the freeze dried potato shavings or this cloying sauce.

Think bad curried chicken salad, that’s the flavor profile.

Buldak with Cheese

A theme for the worst offenders on this list is enhanced artificiality. I know these are instant noodles. I’ve not come into this meal for my health but would like to not be reminded of the depths of my sodium depravity. Or have it ruined by harsh flavors.

You’ve probably guessed by now that the novel preparation for this variety is cheese powder mixed into the sauce. While this is more successful than the abhorrent corn powder above, the flavor here is blah. Of the worst end of the spectrum I could stand to eat these slightly creamy but largely…fine noodles if nothing else was available. I think there’s a slightly better cheese flavor on the market that we’ll talk about later.

These are also on the lower end of the spicy spectrum with the cheese powder dampening some of the base buldak flavor. Overall, they’re forgettable but edible.

Mala Flavor Buldak

I’ve not been able to find the first case of some moronic challenge eater referring to these Mala flavor noodles as 4Xs spicy, but let’s address it regardless: NO. These are not 4 times hotter than standard Samyang Buldak. The mouthfeel IS different, however, thanks to the addition of Sichuan peppercorns. They’re even on the fucking package but still, people weren’t picking up on this.

Sichuan peppercorns aren’t actually pepper. The plant is more closely related to citrus and is part of the Rutaceae family. It’s not “spicy” but instead provides a peculiar numbing sensation that enhances other flavor and the power of capsaicin to some extent. Hydroxy-alpha sanshool is the chemical at work in this process and its distinct aroma and sensation is why Sichuan peppercorn is a key component in various sauce and spice mixes throughout Asia.

I adore mala flavor in other preparations but it’s not as appetizing mixed into the standard Buldak sauce. If you’re interested in feeling the numbing quality of the peppercorns this is an affordable way to give it a go, but I’d recommend trying mapo tofu or any number of hot pot dishes instead. The oddity of the sauce is what led people to believe this is a spicier version of Buldak but that’s somewhat subjective. I should be more honest that all Buldak varieties are spicier than standard “hot” fair but rarely reach beyond the heat of a habanero.

Just don’t let me catch you calling these 4Xs spicy.

Buldak Stew Type

We’re now in the territory of noodles I’ll happily eat whenever they’re provided, albeit on the low end of the scale. I mentioned previously that most Samyang noodles are prepared without a broth. These stew type noodles are different, they’re thicker, chewier noodles designed to be simmered. So in preparing these, you reserve more water than the traditional couple of spoonfuls recommended in other varieties.

Flavor-wise these are just the original buldak sauce in a soup. The intensity is not quite as high compared to erroneously turning the original flavor into a soup (which I did when I first made them years ago). What makes them stand out is the quality of the noodles. A few varieties use these thicker noodles to carry sauce and they shine in the soup style best of all.

I like these best with an egg cracked into the soup as its simmering. Do this right and you’ll poach the egg and be rewarded by an obscene yolk puncture later on. Do it poorly and you’re still in for a treat.

Original Buldak Flavor

Supposedly the original flavor of Samyang Buldak is still in production but I’ve had little luck procuring it. Most shops now stock the stew type and 2Xs spicy, a choice I can understand but remain disappointed by because the original flavor is most approachable of the lot.

Intensely chickeny, horrifyingly red, and accented with sesame and nori flakes, the original is scrumptious as is or improved with the addition of more seaweed or melted cheese. When I had buldak gyoza on hand I mixed them into the noodles along with extra sesame oil-drenched seaweed flakes and a generous sprinkling of scorpion pepper gouda. This flavor is a true creative base if you like adding to instant noodles but can also stand up on its own.

I’m just sad that it seems to be disappearing as 2Xs spicy steals the stage. Sometimes the basic version is necessary for the less daring among us, or those that like a warm, comforting meal that doesn’t ask for much in return.

If you can find them, I recommend starting with the original flavor. If not, my next choice is a slightly less spicy but fulfilling acquisition.

Buldak Carbo (Carbonara)

If you’re reflecting on the fine carbonaras of your life, abandon that notion. Indeed, reject the concept of the Sims Goopy Carbonara too. This… this is not carbonara as you know it.

Here the unctuous, chewy noodles from the stew type buldak meet a cheese powder additive and somehow meld in a creamy, pleasing harmony. the secret? Whipped cream.

Sweet but not candy-sweet cream is in the cheese powder for this, giving the noodles a mellow creaminess that the original cheese flavor was begging for. That sugary hit melds well with the traditional buldak sauce. These are slightly less spicy because of it but I can’t resist the texture. Something in this combination works far better than cheese alone.

What’s even better is the tteokboki version of this available in microwavable cups. I think the tteokboki version is better as rice cakes always cry out for a creamy sauce. Try both, or just one, you’ll be surprised by how well a spike of sweetness works.

I also have to show you this horrifying Cookat video that almost put me off the idea of whipped cream until I finally tried the carbo style noodles. They’re onto something.

Buldak Jjajang (Black Bean Noodles)

It’s not much of a stretch for me to assume you’ve seen the 2019 Best Picture winner Parasite by now. the noodle dish featured there is “Jjapaguri” (made in response to a request for Ram-Don) or a combination of Chapaghetti and Neoguri. Chapaghetti in this scenario is a black bean noodle or Jjajangmeyon. So really what Ram-Don is in the context of the subtitles is black bean noodles mixed with seafood noodles.

Buldak Jjajang is a spicy chicken noodle mixed with black bean sauce. Primarily this instant ramen has the quality of jjajangmyeon but spicier and doesn’t carry. the usual buldak flavor through. The result is an umami-rich and messy sauce that will stain any and everything around it if you aren’t careful over some standard instant noodles. There’s a pack of freeze-dried veggies included but if you’re gunning for an authentic experience you’re better off adding your own vegetables.

I mentioned Parasite at all to declare that I like this version of jjajangmyeon more then Chapaghetti though Nongshim (makers of both noodles used in Parasite) is more internationally known compared to Samyang. A lot of Samyang products can be discarded as “stunt” food, or spicy for the hell of it. Their Jjajangmeyon is quality and a better instant sauce (at least to me).

2x Spicy Buldak

I question the Scoville rating on Samyang’s packaging. These two-times hotter than the already exceedingly hot original flavor of Buldak noodles are supposedly 8,000 Scoville heat units or the upper range of the hottest jalapeno you’ve ever tasted. I call bullshit on that for a number of reasons but primarily because they’re using capsaicin extract.

People who know my preferences for spice know that I don’t like capsaicin extract because it is volatile and dangerous. The ingredient list on these noodles cites extract rather than a discernible pepper, which leads to it being hotter. All versions of Samyang Buldak list extract over an actual pepper.

I do think these are considerably spicier than the original sauce formula. I don’t think they’re 2xs as hot.

Originally, this formula had quite a bitter taste that carried through beyond the robust chicken flavor. In recent years this has changed, leading me to believe Samyang is actively trying to make their sauce edible, not just dangerously spicy.

In most stores that stock these noodles, 2x Spicy is the norm, while the original flavor is fading into the background. I blame this on challenge videos and the fact that there was a demand for progressively more demanding heat in these noodles.

I add egg or cheese to these like the stew type or original flavor. I think this current international recipe has a pleasing balance between chicken and overwhelming heat which is why 2X Spicy is so high on this list. I do not, however, recommend you start with this flavor. You will be angry with me and yourself as the capsaicin extract wreaks havoc on your palate and digestive system. Extreme spice tolerance is something you have to build up to, and even. though I grow super-hots, I occasionally lapse in my heat tolerance.

I do think this flavor is as popular as it is now because it delivers on the nearly dangerous spice level depicted on the package. I do, however, question the validity of the Scoville scale rating. Supposedly there is a Korea-only version that reaches 10,000 SHU and I’m curious to try them. Even then, that doesn’t reach the level of habanero pepper.

Buldak Topokki Noodles

I will admit my grasp of Korean is not as good as it should be for this. Topokki (as far as I know) is another term for Tteokboki or rice cakes in spicy sauce. This version of Samyang Buldak foregoes rice cakes in favor of those scrummy chewy noodles and throws in a few dehydrated fish cakes to boot.

The result? A pleasing, texture-rich noodle experience that isn’t on the brink of spice tolerance. I feel the sauce here has been reworked to have more of a traditional tteoboki taste while still keeping true to the notes of buldak running throughout the family of products. This makes sense as rice cakes are frequently featured in the spicy chicken dish all of this generated from.

Why do I like this one more than the ubiquitous 2x Spicy style? I think it brings together the best of Samyang’s approach to instant noodles. The dehydrated elements actually enhance the experience rather than provide filler, and the chewy noodles are on display here rather than drowning in an overly adulterated sauce. Through years of revision, Samyang landed on the perfect version their noodles which isn’t the spiciest but still intimidating to the uninitiated.

If you can find the Toppoki flavor and are new to Samyang spicy chicken noodles, I highly recommend starting here. Otherwise, try to find the Carbo or original flavors before risking it all on 2x spicy.

Bonus: those fish cakes are called “naruto” in Japanese.

Not featured:

Buldak Ice Type

Of the types of Buldak products available in the US, I’ve never had these “Ice Type” noodles. I can’t see a reference to them on Samyang’s website and suspect they’ve probably been discontinued. The gimmick here is that they were served cold, kind of like japchae only still made with instant ramen fried noodles.

I never fought to try them because I could refrigerate the base flavor and likely have the same experience.